Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
