Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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