you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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