Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
