Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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