I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize