its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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