remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
