I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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