i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
