And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
