so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
