I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Randomize
