just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
