someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
