STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
