Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am naked and annoyed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
