After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
