she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize