So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
