So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
