the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
