Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
