I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
