I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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