Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
