i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
