Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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