I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
