i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
