omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
