I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Farmville is her only friend.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
