To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
