I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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