I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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