He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
