i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
