come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
