8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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