I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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