I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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