Where is the hickey?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
