it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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