For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
