I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
