we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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