I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
