sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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