just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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