I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
