ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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