Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
