White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
