You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You're a waste of cheezeits
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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