did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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