I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize