I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
