Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
