I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize
